Cultivating POTENTIAL: Lessons from the Humble Acorn
As I wander through Richmond Park in the morning, I am surrounded by majestic centuries-old oak trees. Glancing down at my feet, I notice acorns, gently rolling about. What strikes me as remarkable is the sheer tininess of these acorns when held in my hand. Yet, upon deeper reflection, I realise that these minuscule acorns possess the potential to become extraordinary oak trees that have stood for hundreds of years. The oak trees in Richmond Park are truly awe-inspiring; their colossal branches resemble trees sprouting from giant trunks. It is truly mind-boggling to think that all of this grandeur originates from a minuscule acorn.
Acorns are fascinating in that, despite their small size, they harbour the ability to transform into colossal oak trees with lifespans spanning centuries. This potential lies dormant within the acorn, waiting to be unleashed.
However, for it to flourish into a mighty tree, the acorn requires nurturing soil that shields and nourishes it. This nourishment arises from the natural cycle of life: grass grows, withers, becomes a vital part of the elements, consumed by worms, and ultimately transformed into nourishment. The acorn must be a part of this intricate web of life. Moreover, it thrives on the warm embrace of sunlight and copious rainfall. We are blessed with abundant rainfall here in England, as you may well know. Therefore, for the acorn to realise its full potential, it requires care, time, and the right environmental conditions.
Conversely, some acorns do not mature into full-fledged oak trees. This might stem from the infertility of the soil they inhabit, inadequate sunlight, or insufficient rainfall.
Similarly, when I engage with clients, I often observe a disparity between their self-perception and the way I perceive them. During the early stages of therapy, many of my clients view themselves as inadequate, inherently unintelligent, or fundamentally flawed. They bear the weight of shame and struggle to recognise their own worthiness.
However, these negative beliefs hold no truth. They have not received enough affirmations, attention, or praise. Consequently, they perpetually grapple with a sense of "not enoughness," wherein even substantial achievements fail to instil a feeling of fulfilment.
Nevertheless, as their therapist, I discern their potential. I witness the inherent brilliance they possess.
Yet, akin to unhealthy trees, they have yet to fully blossom into their full potential. In some way, they have been deprived of the nurturing, loving messages, and acceptance essential to their development.
Caregivers often impose their own expectations upon their children, neglecting to foster curiosity and interest in uncovering their unique passions. Some parents attempt to shape their children in a manner that fulfils their unmet needs, leaving the children feeling inadequate. Did these children ever receive messages that genuinely made them feel valued and sufficient? Regrettably, no. It was never deemed satisfactory. Nothing ever reached the desired level of adequacy.
Hence, I assert that the dearth of nurturing, illumination (akin to sunlight), and nourishment (comparable to enriching experiences) has impeded their growth.
The soil has been insufficiently fertile. Elements necessary for their development have been absent. However, when I engage with them, I perceive their intrinsic worth, acknowledging their complete potential. Throughout our therapeutic journey, I refrain from fixating on their deficiencies or lacks. I eschew the ineffective approaches employed by their parents. Instead, I educate them on the importance of receiving the nourishment they were deprived of.
Once they feel acknowledged and valued as an acorn brimming with potential, their thoughts, thoughts, emotions, actions, and choices undergo a profound transformation.
Subsequently, they learn to attend to their own needs, becoming their own source of sunlight, rain, and nourishment.
As a result, they attract individuals into their lives who contribute to their healing, offer support, and create a protective community, ensuring further growth. Just like biodiversely rich and healthy ecosystem that they become part of.
Feeling seen and heard initiates their journey towards fulfilling their complete potential, enabling them to flourish into the mighty oak trees they were destined to become.